


Girlfriend

by charmed_seconds



Series: Song-Fic Series [7]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, M/M, Sassy-ish!Merlin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-05
Updated: 2012-07-05
Packaged: 2017-11-09 05:25:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/451835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charmed_seconds/pseuds/charmed_seconds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin doesn't like Arthur's new girlfriend. Quite frankly, he's sick of being looked over. Vivian/Arthur that turns into Merthur.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Girlfriend

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by "Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne

Merlin couldn’t stop the grimace as he watched his best mate stroll down the hallway, a stereotypical ditzy blond hanging off of his arm. He could feel his lip curling in disgust even before the…girl opened her mouth; although, the high-pitch, spoiled tone only made the feeling grow. He turned and looked at Lancelot and Gwen, the two also looking appalled at Arthur’s choice of partner. He swallowed back bile as he watch Arthur’s newly acquired girlfriend giggle before pecking the man’s cheek.

                “Do you think she knows basic arithmetic?” Gwen whispered.

                “I think we’ll be lucky if she knows how to tie her shoes.” Replied Merlin.

                The three schooled their expressions as Arthur strolled up, the girl in the midst of a long-winded tale. “Hey,” Arthur greeted.

                Merlin raised an eyebrow, “Uh, hi…um, I’m Merlin.”

                The blond woman smiled tensely, “Hi. Vivian. Arthur-poo, why aren’t you listening to me?”

                “I’m sorry, love.” Arthur said remorseful, “What were you saying?”

                Merlin’s other eyebrow joined the other one in his hairline as he watched as Arthur listen to Vivian babble about a puppy or kitten; either way Merlin didn’t care. He was too busy confused on how Arthur landed her. Captain of the football team and Arthur shows up with Vivian. Merlin was just disappointed. If he was going to live in the shadows of Arthur’s affections, he would rather lose to someone who was worthy.

                It was no secret within Avalon High’s walls that Arthur was bisexual or that Merlin only enjoyed the pleasures from a man; nor, was it a secret that the two have been friends since kindergarten. Lastly, nearly everyone knew that Merlin fancied his best mate, said best mate, of course, being oblivious to every single thing that had to do with Merlin outside of the realm of friendship.

                “Hey Arthur,” Merlin spoke up, interrupting Vivian, “Are you still coming to pick me up after practice?”

                “Uh, yeah, sure,” Arthur responded, shrugging.

                “But, baby,”  whined Vivian, “You promised to take me and the girls to the mall!”

                “I did?”

                “Yes, last night,”

                Merlin looked away as Vivian took a step forward, a coy smile on her face as she trailed a finger on Arthur’s chest. “Hey, mate, can we do it tomorrow?” Arthur asked.

                “Yeah, sure.” Merlin shrugged, “I have to head to maths. I’ll talk to you later.”

                “See you.”

                Merlin shook his head and grabbed his bag off from the floor. He heard Gwen and Lancelot say their farewells before following after the younger man. “Hey, you okay?” Gwen whispered as she gently took Merlin’s hand.

                “You mean besides the nails that I have grating my skull’s blackboard?” Merlin sarcastically asked, “Peachy.”

                “She does have a bit of a high voice.” Lancelot muttered.

                “She sounds like someone is strangling a baby,”

                Gwen stifled a giggle, “She is a bit…um…”

                “I believe the word you are looking for my dear Guinevere is stupid,” Merlin finished, rolling his eyes, “I swear, if I’m to be outdone by someone, I wish it was someone that knew the difference between left and right.”

                Gwen smirked “Well, we could kill two birds with one stone.”

                Merlin glanced over at his friend as the three maneuvered through the crowded halls, “Do speak.”

                “You could get rid of Vivian, and of course, win your place besides your lovely knight.”

                “Continue.”

                “Play for his heart,” Gwen finished, “Show him that you’re better than that…ditz he has now.”

                “Or…I could royally fuck up our friendship,” Merlin grumbled.

                “I say give it a try mate,” Lancelot said, clapping a hand on Merlin’s shoulder.

                “Plus, the way you were twitching…I give you three days before you commit homicide,” Gwen added.

                “I would give him at least four days,” Lancelot replied.

                “Three and half.”

                Merlin rolled his eyes, “I’m not going to kill Vivian…”

                Gwen snorted, “Right..”

                “Only send her off to a distant land,” Merlin defended, “Now, shoo. You two have chemistry…and I have a plan to hatch out. Operation : I-Hate-Arthur’s-Girlfriend-He-Needs-A-New-One is in planning.”

                “And by new one, he means one that has floppy ears, black hair, blue eyes, and is the drum major of the school band.” Gwen said, grinning.

                “I’m not leaving that possibility out, now shoo. I banish you from my halls!’ Merlin intoned before turning dramatically and entering his maths class; a smirk on his face. It was time to brainstorm.

-

                Day One.

                Merlin smirked as he walked into the cafeteria. He hasn’t been able to see Arthur before classes, but lunch was a perfect time to hatch out phase one. Glancing down, he made sure his taut black jeans were still unscathed and pristine.  He straightened his black shirt, a white vest lining out his lithe muscles. Lastly, a red thin scarf added a smack of color. All in all, he was hot and he was utterly flawless for the seed to be planted.

                Strolling up to their usual table, Merlin smirked at Gwen and Lancelot –the two grinning. Arthur and Vivian’s back were to him so he surprised him as he placed his folded arms on Arthur’s shoulder. His mouth was centimeters from Arthur’s ear, and Merlin couldn’t help but smile when he felt a small shiver go through the muscled body. “Hey, we still on for the movie marathon after school?”

                Arthur turned his head slightly, just enough for him to see Merlin out of the corner of his eye. “Uh, yeah. I’ll pick you up after I drop Vivian off from school?”

                “That sounds good,” Merlin said, grinning, still leaning on Arthur, “Do you want to me to bring that soda you like? I think I have a few bottle left from the last time.”

                Arthur laughed, “You know Father doesn’t like that stuff in the house.”

                “Ah, but Arthur, what Father doesn’t know doesn’t hurt him,” Merlin responded, winking.

                Arthur leaned back, grinning, “And how is an idiot like you supposed to sneak that past him, hmm?”

                “Well, my dearest prat, its call a backpack,” Merlin answered, tapping Arthur’s nose in chastisement, “I’m sure you could figure that out.”

                “And what makes you think Father won’t check your bag?”

                Merlin raised an eyebrow, “If he does that, your Father has some serious trust issues. I’m sure I can refer him to my Uncle.”

                “Merlin, your Uncle is a doctor…not a shrink.” Arthur deadpanned.

                “Eh, details,” Merlin intoned, waving his hand as he slid onto the bench of the lunch table forcing Vivian to slide down to make room, “Now, what gory, disgusting movies shall be viewing this evening?”

                “Well, I was thinking we could wat-“

                “Arthur-poo…”

                Merlin held back a wince as Vivian’s unmistakable voice broken into their conversation. He almost forgot the blond was behind him. Almost.

                “Yes, love?”

                Merlin scowled. One beckoning from Vivian and he was forgotten. Smirking, “Hey Arthur, did I leave my…extra condoms there last time? I had them in my backpack and I can’t find them.”

                Arthur blinked, his face flushing slightly, “Merlin! No, you didn’t leave your condoms at my house!”

                ”Are you sure? I know I left the lube there once,” Merlin muttered under his breath, “Damn. They were the good ones too. Knowing you, you just used them and don’t want to admit it.”

                “Merlin!”

                Merlin smiled, hopping up. “Anywhoo, I’ll see you all later. Don’t forget our plans, prat.” Merlin said, lightly smacking Arthur’s cheek a few times, “I’m off to band practice. Tally –ho!”

                Merlin grinned when he heard Vivian shriek about condoms and “What exactly do you and Merlin do at these movie marathons!?!”.

                Phase one. Complete.

-

                Phase one…didn’t go to plan.

                Due to his…innuendo, Merlin was forced to watch movies with the lovely, darling Vivian. Luckily, Arthur was sitting between the two so she should survive the evening. Sighing, Merlin looked up at the ceiling, planning. How could he fix this?

                Merlin could stop the smirk from forming when an idea was struck. Yawning, he turned his head slightly, the side of his face leaning on the soft plush of the couch. A few minutes ticked by, and Merlin feigned slowly falling asleep. Thirty minutes later, he had his eyes closed and his breathing slowed. Grumbling, Merlin twitched and turned his head and allowed gravity to do its magic. Soon, the softness of the couch was replaced by the warmth of a human body. He felt Arthur flinch but he refused to give up his plan now. Sniffling, he nuzzled Arthur’s shoulder, getting comfortable.

                “Push. Him. Off.” He heard Vivian hiss.

                “Why? He’s just sleeping.” Arthur whispered back.

                “Because he’s not your girlfriend.” Vivian snapped.

                He felt Arthur sigh, “No, but he is my best mate. He’s fine.”

                “Hmph.”

                “Oh, don’t be like that Vivian. I’m with you, not Merlin.”

                “Oh really? Because that’s not the picture someone would get if they walked through that door right now.”

                “Vivian…just…watch the movie.”

                When the girl didn’t respond, Merlin allowed the feeling of accomplishment blossom.

                He won this round.

                Now, he just needs to win the war.

                But first…a nap.

-

                Part two took some…more detailed planning.

                “Are you sure this is a good idea?”

                Merlin whirled around, “You were the one that told me to get into Arthur’s pants!”

                “Hey! I said to win his heart!” Gwen remarked, “Nothing about getting into his pants!”

                “It was implied,” Merlin grumbled under his breath, “Just…help me get these bags in the house, they’ll be here in a few hours.”

                Soon Merlin’s living room was decorated for a small party for him finally getting his driver’s license. Two tables were lined with alcohol and Merlin prayed that, for once, Arthur would get utterly pissed. Quickly afterwards, everyone was gathered. Football players and band geeks touched shoulders and partied. Glancing around, Merlin smirked as he saw Arthur drinking shots with Gwaine and Leon. Perfect.

                An hour and half into the party, Merlin found Arthur on the couch, drunk and lazily kissing Vivian. Gritting his teeth, Merlin downed his own shot and left the liquid courage plow through his trepidation. Strutting over, Merlin plopped down on Arthur’s lap, acting more drunk than he actually was. He giggled as he wrapped his arms around Arthur’s neck, shocked, dazed sun-kissed eyes looking up at him.

                “Hey, hey Arthur!” Merlin snickered, “How you like my party?”

                Arthur laughed, “It’s good Merlin.”

                “Yay!” Merlin cheered, “Hi Vivi. How are you this lovely evening?” he slurred slightly.

                Vivian coiled back in disgust, “I’m..um, fine.”

  1.                 “That’s lovely.” Merlin said, smiling before turning back to Arthur, “Oh, oh! I forgot.” Merlin fake-tittered behind his hand, “I heard the funniest thing.”           



                “And what is that _Mer_ lin?”

                “Oi, no need for that tone, prat.” Merlin grumbled.

                Arthur rolled his eyes, “What is it that you heard Merlin?”

                Merlin grinned, “That…people think, we’re together!” Merlin leaned back, his laughter booming, “That’s insane right? I mean, you’re with her! Not me!”

                Arthur chuckled awkwardly, “Yeah. Where did you hear that?”

                “Around,” Merlin said, smirking. He turned so he was straddling Arthur’s legs, “I mean, I would get why you wouldn’t mind being with a person like me. I’m damn near perfect!”

                Arthur snorted, “Have you seen your ears, idiot? Or your lack of muscle?”              

                “Hey! At least I have impeccable teeth.”

                Arthur glared at his friend, the two staring at each other. “I’m just gonna leave,” they heard Vivian sigh, standing up with a huff before stomping out.

                Arthur tried to stand but the weight on his hips stopped him. “Merlin, get off.”

                “Why?”

                “Because my girlfriend just left!”

                Merlin smiled, “Oh, did she? Didn’t notice.”

                “Merlin! Off!”

                Merlin sighed and rolled off, “Not like you couldn’t do better.” He muttered under his breath.

                He saw Arthur turn back to him, an unrecognizable look in his eyes before skittering away to catch up with his girlfriend. Merlin sighed as he leaned back on the couch. One more phase.

                He only hoped it worked.

-*-

                Merlin licked his lips as he walked to the football field. It was warm out and he instantly regretted coming straight from band practice in his black uniform. He stood at the sideline, ignorant of Vivian beside him. A few seconds later, the coach blew the whistle and the ball stopped underneath Leon’s foot. A shout of water break gave Merlin the moment he wanted. He grabbed a bottle of water before trotting onto the field, “Hey, uh, can I talk to you?”

                A wary look was what he got in a response, but Merlin took it and Arthur’s hand and led him away. Standing on the other side of the field, away from everyone else, Merlin sighed. “I just wanted to say, sorry for what I did at the party.”

                “You were drunk Merlin, its fine.”

                “No,” Merlin frowned, “Okay, I was a bit tippy, but I knew what I was doing.”

                “Then why the hell would you do that!?!” Arthur shouted, “You nearly broke Vivian and I up!”

                “That’s because she’s…ugh,” Merlin threw his hands up in the air, “Have you noticed nothing?!?”

                Arthur raised an eyebrow, “What are you talking about?”

                Merlin growled, “Damn it Arthur! She’s so…stupid! What the hell are you thinking?” he yelled, gesturing towards the blond girl, “I mean, for God sakes, everyone – Gwen, Lancelot, Gwaine, Leon – can’t stand her! Her voice is atrocious. It’s like a flute horrifically out of tune! It makes me want to kill something!”

                Arthur’s eyes kept narrowing but Merlin didn’t allow the blond to say anything. “I mean, do you have ears? Did you hear anything that anyone is saying? “Why is he with her?” that’s what they’re saying! I mean, for God sakes Arthur, what do you see in her? A quick shag? Then shag her and get it over with!”

                “As if I would-“

                “I know, I know,” Merlin sighed, “You wouldn’t do that…you’re too noble. That’s what…I admire about you Arthur.” Merlin blew out a long breath and ran a hand through his hair, “Look, just…please, for my sanity and the others…get a new girlfriend.”

                “Oh, and who do you offer for that role?”

                Merlin shrugged, “I wouldn’t mind the position…honestly…”

-*-

                The weekend drabbled by and when Monday arrived, the usual slow rush of students filled Camelot High. Merlin yawned as he closed his locker, shaking his head slightly. “Hey,”

                Merlin smiled at Gwen, the girl smiling sadly at him, “Didn’t work?”

                Merlin merely shrugged as he trudged to meet Gwen’t boyfriend, the man offering a comforting hug to the younger man. “Thanks,” Merlin whispered, his head slightly bowed as they stood in their customary spot.

                “Hey, Arthur and Vivian are coming, do you want to-“

                Merlin shook his head and watched at Arthur approached. “Hey,” Merlin weakly greeted the couple.

                He heard Vivian tsk in response. Merlin sighed and leaned against the set of lockers behind him, his head slightly bowed. A shadow suddenly appeared; hovering over him.

                Peering up, he raised an eyebrow. “What’s wrong _Mer_ lin? Gaius keep you up all night with medical mumble?”

                “More like his snoring, prat.” Merlin weakly rebutted, “Two rooms down and I swear, my walls were shaking.”

                Arthur snickered before Merlin felt an arm around his shoulders. Looking up, Merlin took the chaste kiss with a smile, “Morning, prat.”

                “Morning.”

                “What-“

                “You damn sly dog!” Gwen yelled, smacking Merlin’s arm, “You…damn…and to think I felt sorry for you!”

                “Arthur! What is the mean-“

                “Go away Vivian. Before your voice kills the remaining brain cells in my head,” Arthur ordered, “And tell your father that the deal is off. My father is behind my decision.”

                Vivian stood agape before stomping away, the girl promising revenge the whole way down the hall. Merlin snickered and leaned his head against Arthur’s chest.

                “So, wait…I’m confused.” Gwen pinched the bridge of her nose, “What does your father have to do with this?”

                “He wanted to merge Pendragon Corp with Vivian’s father business. He wanted to do it via marriage; but…her voice, I swear, I could feel my brain leaking from my ears.” Arthur shook his head, “Plus, when I told Father about Merlin and I, he just said “Finally” and walked away.”

                Merlin chuckled, “Mom baked me a cake.”

                “Do I get some of this cake?” inquired Arthur.

                Merlin shrugged, “Maybe. Matters on if you can force your arse to my house after school today.”

                “I think I can manage; anything for your mom’s delicious cake.”

                “Oi! Boys, look!’ Gwaine’s voice echoed, the man in the middle of the hallway, “The Prince finally has the Princess!”

                The football team laughed, Gwen and Lancelot joined. Merlin scowled. “Not a princess.”

                “Sure about that?” Arthur joked.

                Merlin raised an eyebrow at his boyfriend before pushing himself from the loose embrace, grabbing his book. “You know what? Hell yeah, I’m the motherfucking princess.” He said as he feigned a hair flip, “And now if you excuse me, this princess has maths.” He said before strutting down the hallway, laughter surrounding him and a smile on his face.


End file.
